Story of the Tower of the Perfect Honeymoon

Mr. Berenstain met Petey Pirfreakazoidahna at George's Pub and Grill after a nasty fight with Mrs. Berenstain. Mr. Berenstain, with all due cause, told her that unless they hit their kids more, they would grow up to be burdens on society. She disagreed while hitting him, and he noted the irony then hit her back. Twenty minutes later, she was dead. He planted a bottle of sleeping pills in her hand and heaved her into their bed. The kids were asleep and hadn't heard any of it, so he thought it would be best if he constructed himself an alibi.

Mr. Berenstain always found that violence brought out primal hunger, so he headed to one of his favorite establishments, making sure the neighbors didn't see him leaving. He ordered a medium-rare flank and sat absorbing the lounge atmosphere. If it hadn't been for a mix-up in the kitchen, he would have never met his new lover. The waiter brought Petey Pirfreakazoidahna Mr. Berenstain's flank, and Mr. Berenstain Petey Pirfreakazoidahna's Roast Beef Dip.

The waiter quickly walked over to Petey Pirfreakazoidahna and made the swap, but it was ten minutes before Mr. Berenstain stopped staring at the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. White spots speckled a handsome tomato-red head sitting gracefully atop a green vine, sprouts of raven-black hair jutting from the top.


Petey turned and immediately made eye contact with the bear, lost in his warm dark eyes. No words had to be said; Petey walked over and sat down. Over the next 4 hours, Mr. Berenstain and Petey Pirfreakazoidahna discussed absolutely everything and it was no hard decision to be with each other forever.

Mr. Berenstain put the kids up for adoption the very next day, telling the police he was in too much grief to raise them properly. That weekend, Mr. Berenstain and Petey packed lightly and flew off to Greece to start a new life.