Friday, February 23, 2007
Story of the Tower of the Cosmic Feast
Even the gods who take the fabric of the universe in their mighty hands are cowed beneath the awesome scent of a feast.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
The Story of the Godly Kabob Tower
The Kaboblians are a fascinating race of people from the jungles of space. They are blessed with an inate gift of growing oversized fruit and breeding gigantic cattle. Whether it be the fertile meteor soil or the supernutrients the Kaboblians infuse into the seed and feed, the fruit and meat surpass any size record on Earth. After their produce is ripe, they find or fashion a large wooden spike and impale the steak and fruit upon it. For weeks they feast and worship the enormous kabob.
While an optimistic person may find a potential solution to world hunger from his interstellar neighbors, he may soon find that the Koboblians are a fierce, selfish species. They horde their crop without sharing and often discard food they don't eat.
While an optimistic person may find a potential solution to world hunger from his interstellar neighbors, he may soon find that the Koboblians are a fierce, selfish species. They horde their crop without sharing and often discard food they don't eat.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
100 Inches of Respect and Glory
It comes with much honor and admiration that I have the privilege of announcing that we have reached and broken the 100 inch point.This means that we are finally longer and taller than a velociraptor and could easily push one into submission.
whamo
WE HAVE A LOGO? WE HAVE A LOGO! 99 inches? 99 inches! Now i need to make that next tower! We are so close to the important milestone .The 100 inchstone. I am so tired right now. I cannot make the tower right now, but i will. We need to celebrate with some sparkling apple cider or a trip to bremuda. That's a nice logo.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Reaching 100 inches, a horrible precursor, and a podcast.
Hey dogs, good news. We're approaching another height achievement (granted, I can make up any height achievement I please and celebrate it) and we're reaching a height of 100 inches. If I may, I will allude to any and all double entendres featuring 100 inches and my anatomy.
Secondly, I'd like to promote the fact that searching "The World's Tallest Blog" on google.com will result in ablogtothemoon.blogspot.com being the second available site on the list. This should help with spreading the word. However, further investigation of the search has lead me to this. Someone has had this idea before us but they've taken it in a completely different train of thought. It's apparently just some coding project and was made in probably one sitting. The website does not show the kind of dedication we're planning to show. This only offends me because I originally wanted to title this whole project the world's tallest website and couldn't because some coder beat me the hell to it (coincidentally, the title of World's Tallest Blog was taken as well but it seems the author has no plans to make an exceptionally tall blog and his choice of title was probably just random.)
Finally, if you look slightly to the right, we have a podcast. Expect better quality in the future.
Happy climbing!
Secondly, I'd like to promote the fact that searching "The World's Tallest Blog" on google.com will result in ablogtothemoon.blogspot.com being the second available site on the list. This should help with spreading the word. However, further investigation of the search has lead me to this. Someone has had this idea before us but they've taken it in a completely different train of thought. It's apparently just some coding project and was made in probably one sitting. The website does not show the kind of dedication we're planning to show. This only offends me because I originally wanted to title this whole project the world's tallest website and couldn't because some coder beat me the hell to it (coincidentally, the title of World's Tallest Blog was taken as well but it seems the author has no plans to make an exceptionally tall blog and his choice of title was probably just random.)
Finally, if you look slightly to the right, we have a podcast. Expect better quality in the future.
Happy climbing!
Legend of the Tower of the False Sun
Gabriel poised himself on the tip of the crystalline construct, spreading his toes to achieve greater balance. The globe he coveted glowed as it lay wrapped in his leather trench coat. A mischievous smile curled across his face; the gods would not be happy with him. A moment of regret arouse and quickly passed as he unfolded the faded, worn jacket. He held the orb with both hands and outstretched his arms. The ball swirled on his palms and exploded into a force that illuminated the night sky.
No, the gods would not be very happy with him at all.
No, the gods would not be very happy with him at all.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Momentor, Hero of Valor
Good news gents and fan(s), we've reached our first height achievement and the tower exceeds the height of an average human being. Let's break out the bubbly and tell campfire stories around the stove. I've been trying to strategize how to make the project more public, and I must admit the tower is hard to categorize as far as a fan base goes. I've been signing up for digital art forums and am trying to think of a way to advertise without giving the impression that I just joined to spam them. The podcast is also created and the only topic I can think to talk about is the GBA sequel to Earthbound that will not be coming to America despite the fact you play as a cowboy who befriends dinosaurs. The paypal is steps away from being functional, I'm just afraid of activating it in case e-pirates pilfer all of my funds. Maybe we can make some sympathy money off of this bitch. Any way, congradulations for being taller than most humans. Good day.
Story of the Tower of the Perfect Honeymoon
Mr. Berenstain met Petey Pirfreakazoidahna at George's Pub and Grill after a nasty fight with Mrs. Berenstain. Mr. Berenstain, with all due cause, told her that unless they hit their kids more, they would grow up to be burdens on society. She disagreed while hitting him, and he noted the irony then hit her back. Twenty minutes later, she was dead. He planted a bottle of sleeping pills in her hand and heaved her into their bed. The kids were asleep and hadn't heard any of it, so he thought it would be best if he constructed himself an alibi.
Mr. Berenstain always found that violence brought out primal hunger, so he headed to one of his favorite establishments, making sure the neighbors didn't see him leaving. He ordered a medium-rare flank and sat absorbing the lounge atmosphere. If it hadn't been for a mix-up in the kitchen, he would have never met his new lover. The waiter brought Petey Pirfreakazoidahna Mr. Berenstain's flank, and Mr. Berenstain Petey Pirfreakazoidahna's Roast Beef Dip.
The waiter quickly walked over to Petey Pirfreakazoidahna and made the swap, but it was ten minutes before Mr. Berenstain stopped staring at the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. White spots speckled a handsome tomato-red head sitting gracefully atop a green vine, sprouts of raven-black hair jutting from the top.
Petey turned and immediately made eye contact with the bear, lost in his warm dark eyes. No words had to be said; Petey walked over and sat down. Over the next 4 hours, Mr. Berenstain and Petey Pirfreakazoidahna discussed absolutely everything and it was no hard decision to be with each other forever.
Mr. Berenstain put the kids up for adoption the very next day, telling the police he was in too much grief to raise them properly. That weekend, Mr. Berenstain and Petey packed lightly and flew off to Greece to start a new life.
Mr. Berenstain always found that violence brought out primal hunger, so he headed to one of his favorite establishments, making sure the neighbors didn't see him leaving. He ordered a medium-rare flank and sat absorbing the lounge atmosphere. If it hadn't been for a mix-up in the kitchen, he would have never met his new lover. The waiter brought Petey Pirfreakazoidahna Mr. Berenstain's flank, and Mr. Berenstain Petey Pirfreakazoidahna's Roast Beef Dip.
The waiter quickly walked over to Petey Pirfreakazoidahna and made the swap, but it was ten minutes before Mr. Berenstain stopped staring at the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. White spots speckled a handsome tomato-red head sitting gracefully atop a green vine, sprouts of raven-black hair jutting from the top.
Petey turned and immediately made eye contact with the bear, lost in his warm dark eyes. No words had to be said; Petey walked over and sat down. Over the next 4 hours, Mr. Berenstain and Petey Pirfreakazoidahna discussed absolutely everything and it was no hard decision to be with each other forever.
Mr. Berenstain put the kids up for adoption the very next day, telling the police he was in too much grief to raise them properly. That weekend, Mr. Berenstain and Petey packed lightly and flew off to Greece to start a new life.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Story of the Tower of the Forever Bridge
Forever the bridge unravel
Forever the weary travel
Forever the heroes battle
Forever the weary travel
Forever the heroes battle
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Story of the Tower of the Citric Puppet
Fredrick and Cedric Mononov, twin immigrant brothers from Chech Slovakia, arrived on American shores with a dual case of amnesia and an enormous marrionette. Seemingly lacking any schooling or experience skills, the brothers Mononov lived the American dream the only way they knew how. In 1902, the Mononov Theatre debuted the Citrus Puppet Comedy Hour.
The Comedy Hour, in actuality only twenty three minutes in length, was a resounding success, hosting a sold out show every night, inspiring three film versions through the years, and spawning a mega-popular clothing line. In 2003, the Mononov Theatre burned to the ground in a city-wide fire. The Brothers Mononov have since moved their live show to the World's largest blog and donate their earnings to a "Victims of the great city fire of 2003" charity.
The Comedy Hour, in actuality only twenty three minutes in length, was a resounding success, hosting a sold out show every night, inspiring three film versions through the years, and spawning a mega-popular clothing line. In 2003, the Mononov Theatre burned to the ground in a city-wide fire. The Brothers Mononov have since moved their live show to the World's largest blog and donate their earnings to a "Victims of the great city fire of 2003" charity.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
The Legend of the Tower of the Ancient Gift
"Long ago, after the making the world, when the ancient trees of the forest had not yet taken root, the gods placed within this land the secret to all creation. It is said that any mortal who chanced upon this hallowed treasure would be able to reshape all creation. Fearing the will of men, the gods enslaved the soul of stone to forever guard against intruders. All who have entered the forest in search of the ancient gift have never returned. So, again I tell you young man, abandon your quest. The god's secret is not worth your life."
"Had I other options, old man, I would surely forsake this dark wood. But you see, I have no choice."
"Had I other options, old man, I would surely forsake this dark wood. But you see, I have no choice."
Friday, February 9, 2007
The Fable of the Tower of Serenity
Betwixt the dying branches of the twilight tree,
Cricket swoons,
the spirits eb and swirl,
forever he sings,
Ms. Buttefly soars,
and forever ignores.
Cricket swoons,
the spirits eb and swirl,
forever he sings,
Ms. Buttefly soars,
and forever ignores.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Space for rent
I wish to post next section, only because i tried awful hard to come up with a continuation and it finally came to me.
The Story of the Tower of the Sun Bandits
Captain Fizbroth and First Mate Hoofler tredged through the hot sand. The last five continents did not help them in any way other than giving them much needed sailing experience.
First Mate Hoofler had spent years in the Atlantic learning how to dive for oysters before meeting Fizbroth by chance during once such trip. Fizbroth was clinging to a blackened piece of wood, floating helplessly hundreds of miles from the mainland. Imagine the good Captain's surprise when, from below, the camel lifted him from the cold ocean into the colder night breeze.
They got to chatting, and upon asking Hoofler how the devil he could make it so far from the coast, it was revealed that instead of collecting fat in his hump, he could collect air. Though this limited the distance he could travel, having to stop every now and again for a bite to eat, he was no disappointment. In fact, on their first journey Fizbroth noted that Hoofler could go farther than any other camel he had known. What was the difference? Determination or pure willpower?
That wasn't important. What was important was getting back at the sun. Captain Fizbroth and his crew of forty men had been sailing under the Island of Giant Glass Lenses during a cloudless summer afternoon when a passing sunray angled just perfectly through one of the giant glass monoliths. The boat was blazing at every bend except what was submerged beneath the waves, but the structure became too weak and, panel by panel, the ship Fizbroth and his men had built, Professor Journyman, dissolved into the ruthless sea. The men who were caught directly in the sunbeam were killed instantly. Many more were lucky enough to grab hold of a floating plank, and many more still were too sick to fend through the currents.
Fizbroth stayed afloat with near a dozen of his men for two weeks and when all seemed hopeful, a typhoon swept them all up and spat them out in different corners of the ocean. Fizbroth awoke to find himself clutching onto the plank, but with no fellow floaters anywhere on the horizon. It could have been a week or a month when Hoofler saved him, but Fizbroth knew one thing for certain: he had to teach the sun a lesson.
Hoofler brought Fizbroth to shore, and they wandered into the nearest town with supplies. With Hoofler's permission and patience, Fizbroth devised a contraption that would help them immensely. It was a simple tube with many syringe-like needles at the bottom that dug through Hoofler's hump, secured by suction. Fizbroth built a modestly sized ship of sorts on the top of the pole and ran the pipe through it.
With a large enough feast before departure, Fizbroth and Hoofler could transverse entire seas without the noble camel having to come up for air. Whenever Fizbroth would spot distant land, he would shout down the tube and Hoofler would rise, turning the boat into a crow's nest, giving the captain a better view of the dangers ahead.
____
Captain Fizbroth and First Mate Hoofler had been to five continents, looking for any surviving crew from Professor Journyman who had floated ashore, and some clue as to how they could tame the sun, or at least communicate with it. Fizbroth was not a violent man, he simply wanted answers. So far, they had been completely unsuccessful in both endeavours. Neither of the two gave up easily, though, and that made every day a zesty one.
First Mate Hoofler had spent years in the Atlantic learning how to dive for oysters before meeting Fizbroth by chance during once such trip. Fizbroth was clinging to a blackened piece of wood, floating helplessly hundreds of miles from the mainland. Imagine the good Captain's surprise when, from below, the camel lifted him from the cold ocean into the colder night breeze.
They got to chatting, and upon asking Hoofler how the devil he could make it so far from the coast, it was revealed that instead of collecting fat in his hump, he could collect air. Though this limited the distance he could travel, having to stop every now and again for a bite to eat, he was no disappointment. In fact, on their first journey Fizbroth noted that Hoofler could go farther than any other camel he had known. What was the difference? Determination or pure willpower?
That wasn't important. What was important was getting back at the sun. Captain Fizbroth and his crew of forty men had been sailing under the Island of Giant Glass Lenses during a cloudless summer afternoon when a passing sunray angled just perfectly through one of the giant glass monoliths. The boat was blazing at every bend except what was submerged beneath the waves, but the structure became too weak and, panel by panel, the ship Fizbroth and his men had built, Professor Journyman, dissolved into the ruthless sea. The men who were caught directly in the sunbeam were killed instantly. Many more were lucky enough to grab hold of a floating plank, and many more still were too sick to fend through the currents.
Fizbroth stayed afloat with near a dozen of his men for two weeks and when all seemed hopeful, a typhoon swept them all up and spat them out in different corners of the ocean. Fizbroth awoke to find himself clutching onto the plank, but with no fellow floaters anywhere on the horizon. It could have been a week or a month when Hoofler saved him, but Fizbroth knew one thing for certain: he had to teach the sun a lesson.
Hoofler brought Fizbroth to shore, and they wandered into the nearest town with supplies. With Hoofler's permission and patience, Fizbroth devised a contraption that would help them immensely. It was a simple tube with many syringe-like needles at the bottom that dug through Hoofler's hump, secured by suction. Fizbroth built a modestly sized ship of sorts on the top of the pole and ran the pipe through it.
With a large enough feast before departure, Fizbroth and Hoofler could transverse entire seas without the noble camel having to come up for air. Whenever Fizbroth would spot distant land, he would shout down the tube and Hoofler would rise, turning the boat into a crow's nest, giving the captain a better view of the dangers ahead.
____
Captain Fizbroth and First Mate Hoofler had been to five continents, looking for any surviving crew from Professor Journyman who had floated ashore, and some clue as to how they could tame the sun, or at least communicate with it. Fizbroth was not a violent man, he simply wanted answers. So far, they had been completely unsuccessful in both endeavours. Neither of the two gave up easily, though, and that made every day a zesty one.
Just in case you were wondering...
The World's Tallest Blog is an ambitious art project directed and created by a couple of limey blokes from the American colonies. They are not art or math students, nor are they getting any kind of money for this idea (though if there's enough momentum, the web masters may start advertising.) No, they're just a couple of kids from the suburbs with MS Paint and a dream.
The concept is simple: Draw a tower in a blank 122 pixel by 402 pixel space. The tower may be bizarre, absurd, and unsound, but it must be creative. Next, post the tower on the blog and it will add to the height of the current tower.
The first section was built on February 6, 2007 on a green, albeit scribbly, mound of earth. Since then it has gotten taller
and taller.
The goal of the tower is to one day exit Earth's atmosphere and reach the moon. Each section of tower is approximately 5 inches tall. The estimated distance from the Earth to the moon is 15 billion inches. The project may outlive its contributers, if not the other way around.
The inclusion of extra blog text (comments, notes, miscellanea) in the World's Tallest Blog proved to upset the balance of the tower, almost even compromising and toppling the structure over. Thus, all text was removed from the blog (with the exception of the side bar information.) In response, this companion has been created to contain all text information related to the World's Tallest Blog. Included here will be announcements, notes from the tower-builders, a comment option for users to comment on the blog, and much more.
The concept is simple: Draw a tower in a blank 122 pixel by 402 pixel space. The tower may be bizarre, absurd, and unsound, but it must be creative. Next, post the tower on the blog and it will add to the height of the current tower.
The first section was built on February 6, 2007 on a green, albeit scribbly, mound of earth. Since then it has gotten taller
and taller.
The goal of the tower is to one day exit Earth's atmosphere and reach the moon. Each section of tower is approximately 5 inches tall. The estimated distance from the Earth to the moon is 15 billion inches. The project may outlive its contributers, if not the other way around.
The inclusion of extra blog text (comments, notes, miscellanea) in the World's Tallest Blog proved to upset the balance of the tower, almost even compromising and toppling the structure over. Thus, all text was removed from the blog (with the exception of the side bar information.) In response, this companion has been created to contain all text information related to the World's Tallest Blog. Included here will be announcements, notes from the tower-builders, a comment option for users to comment on the blog, and much more.
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