Saturday, March 31, 2007
CHAOS!
Please say the tower isn't dead. It has many years left of adventure. O Angel of Hope, don't let me down!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Story of the Tower of the Dead Goddess
The First Act
"Beautiful," he remembered, "absolutely, eternally, intangibly beautiful." His thoughts evaporated as she emerged from the radiance of the sun, haloed and holy. Her bare feet trod upon the naked earth, leaving lillies and daffodils in their wake. A light dress embraced her body, capturing the wind in its folds and emphasizing the angelic curves of her mortality. The golden ratio and fibonacci sequence could not compare to the geometric exactitudes of her perfect form. His memory flickered as she was transformed into an ideal from a lowly creature of the earth. Her skin began crawling with serpentine heiroglyphs that referenced no language, but existence itself. As her lithe body flowed down the hill like a hallowed stream, the air distorted around her, as nature bowed before her epitome.
And after the sanctifying words and joyous celebration, he took her to a quiet place. Alone, with no respect to the holiness of the union of souls, he laid her down and destroyed her. With the ultimate weapon of evolution, of insignificance, he thrust into her all the sadness, pain, weariness, imperfection, ugliness, and hate of the world. The sin of procreation osmosed into her divinity and tore from it everything. His opportunity to see the face of God evaporated with the morning light, never again to illuminate the form of a goddess. The sun burned hot and scorched the earth.
"Beautiful," he remembered, "absolutely, eternally, intangibly beautiful." His thoughts evaporated as she emerged from the radiance of the sun, haloed and holy. Her bare feet trod upon the naked earth, leaving lillies and daffodils in their wake. A light dress embraced her body, capturing the wind in its folds and emphasizing the angelic curves of her mortality. The golden ratio and fibonacci sequence could not compare to the geometric exactitudes of her perfect form. His memory flickered as she was transformed into an ideal from a lowly creature of the earth. Her skin began crawling with serpentine heiroglyphs that referenced no language, but existence itself. As her lithe body flowed down the hill like a hallowed stream, the air distorted around her, as nature bowed before her epitome.
And after the sanctifying words and joyous celebration, he took her to a quiet place. Alone, with no respect to the holiness of the union of souls, he laid her down and destroyed her. With the ultimate weapon of evolution, of insignificance, he thrust into her all the sadness, pain, weariness, imperfection, ugliness, and hate of the world. The sin of procreation osmosed into her divinity and tore from it everything. His opportunity to see the face of God evaporated with the morning light, never again to illuminate the form of a goddess. The sun burned hot and scorched the earth.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
The giggles.
That under construction sign just brightens my day every time!
The Interdimensional Blunder tale has been updated.
The Interdimensional Blunder tale has been updated.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Art
A quick piece I made that was inspired by Matt's Tower of the Dark God's Sacrifice. Think of it as an extra treat to the two (lame) towers tonight.
And of course, jpeg compression fucks that shit up.
And of course, jpeg compression fucks that shit up.
The Story of the Tower of Interdimensional Blunder
Part 1
The people of Saffron Valley were quite sure that this was another case of Hill Giant trickery. A flash of light in the sky had turned all of the rain clouds the color of blood. The simple folk of the village had seen this as an omen from the old book but the elders and scholars remained skeptical.
Ranchers from the outskirts were sent to investigate the phenomenon and find out if the Hill Giants really were just trying to make fools out of the peaceful Saffronians once again. As they climbed the green peaks, they discovered the clouds stretched far past the horizon, even over giant country.
If this was a joke of the Hill Giants, they were playing it on themselves as well.
A cyclone formed and twisted miles above the highest point of the Mortal Peaks. Its devilish tail cracked like a whip and focused an orb of light at its tip.
Then it was over.
The clouds turned gray again and poured a somber spring shower over the land. In the distance, a pillar of black smoke billowed from beneath the trees.
Part 2
Interdimensional Pirates?
Who the hell has ever heard of interdimensional pirates?
"Flux in t-minus ten seconds." Samson the pig said to his captain.
Geoffrey’s inner-ponderings were somewhat ironic as his practices weren't exactly legal either. The life of a time-space curator was filled with peril and profit, and when the job seemed lacking in profit, it undoubtedly made up for it in peril. Geoffrey had traveled to the dimension of a blasphemous god in search of an elixir that could supposedly cure cannibalism. After tangling with the troublesome deity with nothing more than a rusty shield and a rather legendary sword, Geoff emerged victorious. Vial in hand, he returned to his shambled ship, the Integrity. After cutting the frail fabric of the particular reality, he entered the dimensional mainstream and prepared for a safe trip back home.
The crew of a much larger vessel, one that somewhat resembled a Victorian battleship, had different plans for the rogue explorer as they had caught his signal before he entered the chaos-god's realm. When Geoffrey and his pig, Samson, tore back into the dimensional mainstream, the malevolent heap began hurling crude but vorpal ballistics at the Integrity's hull.
Various curse words traveled from one side of Geoffrey’s brain to the other like a scrolling marquee. This had been the first time he was actually attacked in the dimensional mainstream and, although he had faced much more threatening adversaries, he'd never done so in such a fragile area. The Integrity, as well as any other multiversal travel object, had to travel, at the slowest, 10^201 times the speed of light to achieve interdimensional success. If the Integrity were to be pushed into even the smallest particle of dust traveling the opposite direction, it would shatter the craft into billions of microsplinters.
Geoffrey’s ship was much smaller than its pursuer, but it seemed it wasn't faster. Despite their best efforts, Geoffrey and Samson the pig couldn't shake the pirates' advancements. There was only one other option.
"Five seconds to flux." Samson called to his captain.
Five seconds and emergency procedures would send the good ship Integrity into the first random dimension it hit. Geoffrey, knowing his luck, hoped he wouldn't land in the dimension of the vampires, and if he did, he at least hoped it would be the dimension of the sexy vampires.
"3...2...1!"
All went silent as the dimensional mainstream faded into a vortex of psychedelic colors. A violent red light filled in through the windows of the Integrity and blinded its two inhabitants. Suddenly it was over and Geoffrey was flying in stable airspace.
Samson looked out the window and noticed that the landscape was not unlike that of the many Earth dimensions. The sky was blue too.
A stereotypical female voice, the onboard voice of the Integrity, boomed on the overhead speaker.
"Prepare for crash landing, interdimensional instability has resulted in temporary loss of control."
The people of Saffron Valley were quite sure that this was another case of Hill Giant trickery. A flash of light in the sky had turned all of the rain clouds the color of blood. The simple folk of the village had seen this as an omen from the old book but the elders and scholars remained skeptical.
Ranchers from the outskirts were sent to investigate the phenomenon and find out if the Hill Giants really were just trying to make fools out of the peaceful Saffronians once again. As they climbed the green peaks, they discovered the clouds stretched far past the horizon, even over giant country.
If this was a joke of the Hill Giants, they were playing it on themselves as well.
A cyclone formed and twisted miles above the highest point of the Mortal Peaks. Its devilish tail cracked like a whip and focused an orb of light at its tip.
Then it was over.
The clouds turned gray again and poured a somber spring shower over the land. In the distance, a pillar of black smoke billowed from beneath the trees.
Part 2
Interdimensional Pirates?
Who the hell has ever heard of interdimensional pirates?
"Flux in t-minus ten seconds." Samson the pig said to his captain.
Geoffrey’s inner-ponderings were somewhat ironic as his practices weren't exactly legal either. The life of a time-space curator was filled with peril and profit, and when the job seemed lacking in profit, it undoubtedly made up for it in peril. Geoffrey had traveled to the dimension of a blasphemous god in search of an elixir that could supposedly cure cannibalism. After tangling with the troublesome deity with nothing more than a rusty shield and a rather legendary sword, Geoff emerged victorious. Vial in hand, he returned to his shambled ship, the Integrity. After cutting the frail fabric of the particular reality, he entered the dimensional mainstream and prepared for a safe trip back home.
The crew of a much larger vessel, one that somewhat resembled a Victorian battleship, had different plans for the rogue explorer as they had caught his signal before he entered the chaos-god's realm. When Geoffrey and his pig, Samson, tore back into the dimensional mainstream, the malevolent heap began hurling crude but vorpal ballistics at the Integrity's hull.
Various curse words traveled from one side of Geoffrey’s brain to the other like a scrolling marquee. This had been the first time he was actually attacked in the dimensional mainstream and, although he had faced much more threatening adversaries, he'd never done so in such a fragile area. The Integrity, as well as any other multiversal travel object, had to travel, at the slowest, 10^201 times the speed of light to achieve interdimensional success. If the Integrity were to be pushed into even the smallest particle of dust traveling the opposite direction, it would shatter the craft into billions of microsplinters.
Geoffrey’s ship was much smaller than its pursuer, but it seemed it wasn't faster. Despite their best efforts, Geoffrey and Samson the pig couldn't shake the pirates' advancements. There was only one other option.
"Five seconds to flux." Samson called to his captain.
Five seconds and emergency procedures would send the good ship Integrity into the first random dimension it hit. Geoffrey, knowing his luck, hoped he wouldn't land in the dimension of the vampires, and if he did, he at least hoped it would be the dimension of the sexy vampires.
"3...2...1!"
All went silent as the dimensional mainstream faded into a vortex of psychedelic colors. A violent red light filled in through the windows of the Integrity and blinded its two inhabitants. Suddenly it was over and Geoffrey was flying in stable airspace.
Samson looked out the window and noticed that the landscape was not unlike that of the many Earth dimensions. The sky was blue too.
A stereotypical female voice, the onboard voice of the Integrity, boomed on the overhead speaker.
"Prepare for crash landing, interdimensional instability has resulted in temporary loss of control."
Unfortune
I have some upsetting news; I am going to have to buy a Playstation 3 at some point.
Here's why.
Limitless creative potential based on loose boundaries? The thesis of this game is almost identical to the tower's purpose.
Perhaps we can make an online level in which we stack blocks atop one another and put stickers of each tower on the respective blocks. Expand the concept across medias.
Any way, keep the momentum up and happy hunting, deer lovers.
Here's why.
Limitless creative potential based on loose boundaries? The thesis of this game is almost identical to the tower's purpose.
Perhaps we can make an online level in which we stack blocks atop one another and put stickers of each tower on the respective blocks. Expand the concept across medias.
Any way, keep the momentum up and happy hunting, deer lovers.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
A plea for the truth
My original post of the fire eagle tower had the top of the fire eagle's head and wings cut off so that the next tower builder would have something to build off of. I found that i cared too much about the fire eagle's pointed wing to just lop it off, but if you need something more to work off of than white, i'll gladly put the other version back up.
Grabbed by the Ghoulies
If The World's Tallest Blog was an Xbox 360 game, we would most certainly have completed the "Reach Ten Feet" achievement.
Hiatusaur: Tyrant Lizard of Loathing
My computer ceases function for just two days and I come back and suddenly there are two beautiful towers waiting like packages from Santa on Christmas morning.
All I can think to myself is, "This tower will be grand gentlemen. This tower will be grand."
For the sake of actual updating, I'm buying a fourteen dollar stand microphone and it better be grand too otherwise I just might have to commit podcast suicide.
New tower tonight, I promise. ;);((;);:=
And perhaps another new tower tonight. ;)(;<(*_*)>
All I can think to myself is, "This tower will be grand gentlemen. This tower will be grand."
For the sake of actual updating, I'm buying a fourteen dollar stand microphone and it better be grand too otherwise I just might have to commit podcast suicide.
New tower tonight, I promise. ;);((;);:=
And perhaps another new tower tonight. ;)(;<(*_*)>
The story of why The Tower of the Fire Eagle is in Danger of Fading Away and how Ninja² plans on helping.
Ninja² always admired and appreciated the Fire Eagle from his lonely forest cabin in the mountain. He had sworn himself to solitude for the next ten years to learn and practice the art of living off of nature.
Every morning he would awaken to hear the magnificent call of the Fire Eagle, accompanied by the warmth radiating from its glowing figure. The Fire Eagle lived high above Ninja² on the tallest peak. How it sustained itself was not known or questioned, and it was hoped by all that it would continue doing whatever it did to stay so brilliant.
For the past couple months, however, its song had not welcomed Ninja² each day, and the Fire Eagle could not be seen. Its call was sporadic when it could be heard, sounding dry and weak. As the sun was setting one evening, the Ninja caught glimpse of a cloud far beyond the peak that was glowing a faint peachy orange. The eagle must've been sick and Ninja² had to do something.
Ninja² thought about what could possibly make a Fire Eagle sick and what could possibly help. It had been raining an unusually high amount lately. Surely something as wonderful as the Fire Eagle couldn't be downed by water, could it? No, but perhaps clean flames would nudge it on its way to recovery. Ordinary flames didn't seem like they would do the trick. While Ninja² would have to leave his mountain post to get something to burn, the Fire Eagle was far more important than his spirit quest.
The humble ninja wandered into town and explained his situation to the local metalsmith, who provided him with magnesium shavings. The metalsmith, Nemuth Bismark, explained that magnesium burns at over 5,000 degrees Fahrenheit. Ninja² hoped this would be hot enough as he trudged back up towards his cabin.
His mind wandered constantly to images of a sick and coughing Fire Eagle taking its last breath before he got there and it was with much persistence that the ninja finally fashioned a jetpack out of his hand-made canoe. Stuffing the magnesium into the pack, Ninja² took a deep breath and looked around the peaceful forest. Surely his plan would work. It had to. He took off.
Every morning he would awaken to hear the magnificent call of the Fire Eagle, accompanied by the warmth radiating from its glowing figure. The Fire Eagle lived high above Ninja² on the tallest peak. How it sustained itself was not known or questioned, and it was hoped by all that it would continue doing whatever it did to stay so brilliant.
For the past couple months, however, its song had not welcomed Ninja² each day, and the Fire Eagle could not be seen. Its call was sporadic when it could be heard, sounding dry and weak. As the sun was setting one evening, the Ninja caught glimpse of a cloud far beyond the peak that was glowing a faint peachy orange. The eagle must've been sick and Ninja² had to do something.
Ninja² thought about what could possibly make a Fire Eagle sick and what could possibly help. It had been raining an unusually high amount lately. Surely something as wonderful as the Fire Eagle couldn't be downed by water, could it? No, but perhaps clean flames would nudge it on its way to recovery. Ordinary flames didn't seem like they would do the trick. While Ninja² would have to leave his mountain post to get something to burn, the Fire Eagle was far more important than his spirit quest.
The humble ninja wandered into town and explained his situation to the local metalsmith, who provided him with magnesium shavings. The metalsmith, Nemuth Bismark, explained that magnesium burns at over 5,000 degrees Fahrenheit. Ninja² hoped this would be hot enough as he trudged back up towards his cabin.
His mind wandered constantly to images of a sick and coughing Fire Eagle taking its last breath before he got there and it was with much persistence that the ninja finally fashioned a jetpack out of his hand-made canoe. Stuffing the magnesium into the pack, Ninja² took a deep breath and looked around the peaceful forest. Surely his plan would work. It had to. He took off.
another new way to do a thing
If i was an assassin, i'd hide behind the person until they sneezed, say 'god bless you' in a gristly voice, and then break their neck.
Monday, March 5, 2007
A new way to do things, but not a replacement
Ahoy! I feel really comfortable using the word 'ahoy'. I feel it in my character. I feel the ability to say it right now. It felt incredibly natural typing it out right there. I hope it came across that way. There was absolutely no other way I could have started this. I know that now after having done it. Nothing would have worked the same way. I might not feel natural saying it later, but right there it really worked for me and helped me feel alive. I appreciate that.
The point of this post is to let all architects not in possession of the program 'paint.net' a link to go get the program. It was used in the latest tower, Tower of the Dark God's Sacrifice, to blur the picture into the realms of history. Hopefully, much like flash did , this feature or some other filter will allow me to make better things than I am actually able to do.
Yo Ho Ho
The point of this post is to let all architects not in possession of the program 'paint.net' a link to go get the program. It was used in the latest tower, Tower of the Dark God's Sacrifice, to blur the picture into the realms of history. Hopefully, much like flash did , this feature or some other filter will allow me to make better things than I am actually able to do.
Yo Ho Ho
Sunday, March 4, 2007
Thursday, March 1, 2007
The Truth Behind the Celestial Engineers
The World's Tallest Blog is constructed and maintained by Matthew Castille, Andrew Kelevi, and Mark Sallinas. They traverse the cosmos on their solar powered dirigible, The USS Good Hope. Every day they add to their lunar-bound tower; it continues to get taller and more majestic with every piece. The three are considered philanthropists as they offer their tower as refuge to beings both earthly and interdimensional. One day the world will find shade in the construct's omnipresence.
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